Mr Greasy
by klutz101
Summary: UPDATED! PART VIi UP! A poem about Mr. Greasy (Dan Gordon), Mr. Evil (Brad Kern), and Them Stinky Pajamas (Elders! And it ain't loving. It's why I hate em!
1. Part I

AN: Just to let you know I changed one line on this poem!!!

Mr. Greasy: Part I  
  
Yo! Mr. Greasy  
You're a bastard and a sissy  
  
I can't believe people think you're hot  
When you are so totally not  
  
No wonder Piper broke up with you  
I hope you drown in that sea that is so blue  
  
Or should you die in all that grease  
That never seems to cease!  
  
I can't see why everyone hates you  
Oh wait I know! Cause you're a bastard you see  
  
So have fun dying!!!!!!!  
  
AN: How's that for a poem about Dan??????????????? R&R!


	2. Part II

Lil-whitelighter111488: I plan too!!!!!!!  
  
Prue, Piper, Pheobe: It's is funny isn't it? Thanx!!!  
  
Melissa: You're a Dan Fan? Never would have guessed and I guess he was okay. But I still don't like him and I'm glad it made you laugh  
  
Rusalka: Thanx! I just don't like him cause he stole Piper away. It's my opinion (and mostly others)  
  
Piperleo4eva: My heart wouldn't even break if we were siblings (God forbid) and I'm so glad I have a hate Dan fan, Dan fans keep reviewing!  
  
Leojunkie-charmed04: I know I do! Thanx!!!  
  
Piperperson: Thanx!!!  
  
P3charmed4eva: Thanx!!! I totally agree!  
  
Cheese: Thanx!!! It makes me sick too!  
  
Dan fans: 2

Hate Dan Fans: 7 (We so rule the hatred fan club!)  
  
**Mr. Greasy: Part II**  
  
I just want you to know That you are just so low  
  
Every Charmed fan hates you

This poem says it's true  
  
You stole Piper away from the love of her life

I mean, come on! She was going to be his wife!  
  
I know Greg didn't want to play _him_

He was in love with that guy Jim!  
  
I'm not sayin the _hair_ is Dan's fault

I'm sayin its Greg's when the weekly showers came to a halt  
  
Now, Mr. Greasy, what is with that?

You smelled before and that is a fact!  
  
Now why did those showers cease?

I think he couldn't handle all that grease!  
  
We don't care if you die in the coming morning

So at your funeral no one will be mourning!  
  
AN: Another poem that bashes Dan. Man I'm so good! R&R!!!  
  
For any other people out there who wrote Dan bashing poems/songs I did not copy you! Miggs: The Crisco Dan Songs: Published 5-31-04 PiperLeo4eva: I Hate You Mr. Chip Pan: Published 5-29-04 Me: Mr. Greasy: Published 5-28-04 SO YOU CAN'T SAY I COPIED OFF YOU!!!!  
  
Other Stories by me (LeoPiper24/7):  
  
I'm in love with my sister's prince charming  
  
What is love?  
  
One night stand


	3. Part III

**Scaramouche:** We're mean to him because we hate him! You just said he's not greasy! Awwwwwww! We need to send you to a meeting of the Hate Dan Fan Club. But for now you are a Dan Fan!  
  
**Piperleo4eva:** I know, I know. Just had to clear that up. I love that rhyme! It's really good! Now write one for Kern! They make a great couple when they look in the mirror! I mean Greg played Dan. That's just too disgusting for me thank you! Well we could cut his grease glands and put them it the boiling pot of grease I want to dunk him in so badly. Better dumping thingie that Piper should have said to Dan: Nothing personal Dan...it's just well you're a little too greasy to me. Thanx!!!  
  
**P3charmed4eva**: Thank you! I can picture it now (switches to dream mode) Leo and Piper kissing on stage while Dan's lifeless body look on. While Phoebe stabs Dan a hundred more times just to make sure he's dead for good...unlike Cole. But, that my friend was a good thing! Thanx!!!  
  
**CharmingJessica:** No one would. No one, I mean no one would miss him! And now after hitting that precious blue button you're apart off the Hate Dan fan club! I hate Dan for the same reason! And Leo best guy ever in the history of Charmed!  
  
**_Part III: Mr. Greasy meets Mr. Evil_**  
  
Who do I hate more

Brad or Dan?

Who do I want to see,

Walk out the door?

**!!!xxx!!!**

Well, Dan already did that 

And Brad's about to

So I'm letting you decide

Who's a stinky, dirty rat.

**!!!xxx!!!**

So in your review 

Tell me who's worse

Because I can't decide

And then I'll write another bashing poem just for you!

**!!!xxx!!!**

**AN: Just tell me who you hate more and the one that wins will have a bashing poem (or maybe another!) Check out my other fics!  
  
Hate Dan Fans: 11 **

**Dan Fans: 3  
  
We so Rock! Hate Dan Fans went up 4 people! Dan Fans went up 1 person!  
  
Hate Dan Fans: don't know yet **

**Hate Brad Fans: but will soon find out **


	4. Part IV

**Humm:** So if you hated it I guess your part of the Dan Fan club then right?

**piperleo4eva:** Hate Brad more? You're in luck! Well you read half of it already so here's the other half. Your site inspired me right on the spot! Oh and the plan is GOLD!!!

**p3charmed4eva:** Another Brad? Wow, everyone hates Brad! I guess because he tore PL up _and_ created Dan!

**psychokitty3:** Ah Ha! A Dan hater more--er (if that even makes sense). I guess Leo didn't get a couple of punches from him...but Brad created him and tore up PL!

**LeoPiper24/7:** I didn't write a review but I have to say it's a tie!

**_Hate Dan Fan Club: 2 (HIP HIP...)_**

**_Hate Brad Fan Club: 3 (HOORAY!)_**

**_Dan Fan Club: 1 (BOO!)_**

**_Brad Fan Club: 0 (YAY!)_**

I'll just make a combination since it _so_ close. It'll be about the Hate Dan/Brad Fan club members coming after Kern and then them going after Greg Vaughn (played Dan in show)  
  
**_Part IV: Mr. Greasy OR Mr. Evil?_**

Producer Brad Kern,

The man everyone hates

Is getting ready

For a couple of dates

**!!!xxx!!!**

He'll be really pretty 

In a pretty pink dress

With ruffles and lace

Cause he's in a huge mess

**!!!xxx!!!**

Because they're comin' 

The Hate Dan/Brad Fan club

We're going to torture

Him and that greasy bug!

**!!!xxx!!!**

The dates will be 

With death you see

And have course his hatred posse

Which consist of PL fans including me

**!!!xxx!!!**

You tore them apart 

By creating you-know-who

Together you tore Leo out of the picture

All in season two!

**!!!xxx!!!**

Now we'll go to Greg's house 

And tear him to bits

With a knife and a whip

And some sissy girl fits

**!!!xxx!!!**

Now back to Brad 

Who I guess hates Leo

We'll make him lose his job

Which will make him live like a hobo!

**!!!xxx!!!**

And then I'll 

Take that seat

With my Hate Dan/Brad members

All ready to meet

**!!!xxx!!!**

We'll meet face to face 

Rewriting the script

Reuniting the long lost couple

Now Piper's heart will no longer be ripped

**!!!xxx!!!**

AN: Now how was that? Next Part is about **_THEM STINK PAJAMAS!_**

If you don't know who they are

I'll give you a hint They live very far

But are closer then you think

**!!!xxx!!!**

They tore apart love 

For one whole month

In the heavens above

Now do you know who they are?

**!!!xxx!!!**

P.S. Aww, I'm in a poetic mood! Review please before you lose your keys!


	5. Part V

**Nikki:** I totally agree with you! Thanx!!!  
  
**QueenVix:** Dan on Fire was hilarious! I plan to write a bunches more! Thanx!!!  
  
**CharmedMILLIE:** No one has ever called me awesome before! Thanks! Of course we do! Thanx again!!!  
  
**JanaRose:** What do you mean "in replacement?" I'm a blonde so I get confused very easily! Thanx!!!  
  
**Bad98:** Thanx!!!  
  
**P3charmed4eva:** I plan to make them suffer and then kill em. Thanx!!!  
  
**Pink-charmed-one:** Thank you so much. Do you have poetry posted? I'd love to read it! Thanks again!!!  
  
**PiperHalliwell025:** Don't we all  
  
**Piperleo4eva:** Yes you did! Go you, go you, go me! You're the only one who guessed that! And I'm pretty sure you're right! Thanx!!!

**AN:** Hmmm...9 reviews not bad. Not bad at all. Just please review again!!!

**_Part V: Them Stinky Pajamas_**

Them Stinky Pajamas  
Really do stink  
They're really dumber  
Then you may think  
  
They broke up PL  
Because of a stupid rule  
And only one person follows them  
And that my friend is a fool  
  
And let me tell you this  
Who designed those ugly golden robes?  
They look like my grandma's pajamas...  
For her hairy ear lobes  
  
Now what else is there?  
Oh yeah! Are they evil or are they good?  
Cause it looks like maybe their truly evil  
Under their pajama hoods  
  
Now I have proof  
You know about PL  
But did you know about Gideon  
Who made their life a living hell?  
  
**AN:** How'd ja like it? Pleaz tell me in your review. And who should I bash next?  
  
That's all for now  
Until next time

When I get more inspiration  
So I can make another rhyme  
  
**REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!**


	6. Part VI

Okay here's another round!

**_Part VI _**

**_Dan Gordon is..._**

What are some names

For this ugly fool

Whose hair is made of grease

Which to him is a rule

**ooOoo**

I'll give you one

And it's Mr. Greasy

Is there anymore

Hmm lets see

**ooOoo**

There's Sissy girl

And Momma's Boy

There's evil Dan

And greasy chew toy

**ooOoo**

There's also many more

But I'll name a few

There's Ugly man living next door

And there's greasy doo doo

**ooOoo**

Can you name some more

Huh? Can you?

So if you can

tell me in your review!

**ooOoo**

**an**: not as good as others but it'll do. I'll try to update sooner! Pleaz review!!!

_P3charmed4eva_: Thanks a bunch!!!

_Commander of the Peanut Butter_: I think I'll write about the Source later. He didn't really try to break up PL though. Thanks!!!

_Piperleo4eva_: I think I'll do Gideon next. Thanks!!!

_CharmedMilliE_: aww, thank you! I could, I could. Thanks again!!!

_QueenVix_: Thanks a whole lot!!!

_KLUTZ101!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_


	7. Part VII

**_Mr. Greasy_**

_**Part VII**_

People all over wish you were dead  
Why can't you just listen to them?  
Or are you still hiding under your bed?

People hate you will your ugly cleft chin  
And they also hate your greasy dark hair  
Having those traits should be considered a sin.

If I were Leo I would have killed you  
From the very start with your stupid behavior  
If I were him I would sue!

Aww my eyes!  
They burn with grease from your hair  
And all of your childish lies!!!

I wish you would just go bye-bye  
And the charmed ones would vanquish you  
If only they would (this is where everyone lets out a sigh)

**ooOoo**

**an:** darn Mother Nature snowed me in…when I was supposed to go out with my guy! So I had some free time so I just thought I write some horrible stuff about Dan! Enjoy!!! –lindsey-


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